Friday, October 31, 2008

Concrete jungle

This morning I took a drive to get a fresh view on what's going on out in the real world since I've confined myself to my office cube all week.

 

Aside from checking out new store openings and closings for work, I encountered the following oddities in the 2 hour span of my drive:

 

*Cell phone tower poorly disguised as a palm tree.

 

Can you guess which one is the real one in the picture? Haha too funny. I know the intention is good, but when it looks this bad, why bother?

 

*Lady in car..drowning in her own filth

 

I tried to be ninja about snapping this pic for fear that she'd attack me. I wish I got a clearer shot. Her car was literally filled to the brim with trash everywhere except for the driver seat. I swear she has to be Oscar the grouch's long lost sister.

 

*Rain

 

Can our weather be any more indecisive? 90 degree heat, sunny, cloudy..then rain? Mother Earth’s wrath is upon us!

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Hope you enjoyed your party, AIG!

After reading about AIG's blowout lush and lavish bash, spa treatments, and partying like rock stars valued at $400K of financial bailout tax money, I wanted to wring someone's neck.

Thankfully, I can poke fun at dire situations for a temporary laugh..

NEW STOCK MARKET TERMS:


CEO --Chief Embezzlement Officer.


CFO-- Corporate Fraud Officer.


BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.


BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.


VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower.


P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.


BROKER -- What my broker has made me.


STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell. (profound!)


STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.


STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.


FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy whose phone has been disconnected.


MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.


CASH FLOW-- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.


YAHOO -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.


WINDOWS -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.


INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.


PROFIT -- An archaic word

Media underload/Media overload?

I was talking to my good friend Anne last night who reminded me that I've neglected my blog for far too long.

 

During our conversation, we got to talking about the extended mute button lifestyle I've adapted to out of circumstance. As I think about the things I've learned to live without, I realize how underexposed I am to mass media and all the news, both relevant and non-relevant, that my mind is free from. I can’t help but think about how this has improved the quality of my thought life:

 

Cable TV:

 

For over 2 years, I haven't subscribed to cable TV. It all started when I was living in a loft with a rent payment that sucked the fun out of my income. I thought, "eh, I could do without tv, I'll just watch dvds." Besides, what's the point of paying for hundreds of channels if I just watch about 5-6 of them? Let’s face it – cable is not a necessity, it’s a desire, a luxury even at some of the insane price points of premium service options.

 

At first, I didn’t know what the hell to do with the time usually spent as a drone in front of the tube. I turned to the internet which is arguably just as addicting, but it all depends on what content you’re filling your head with. I also ended up having more time to accomplish things I needed/wanted to do. I’m far more active now, and I think that not watching TV all day for hours on end is to thank for that.

 

Now, if the urge strikes to watch my favorite channels, I'll do so at my bros. Nowadays my desire to watch tv is pretty much nil to none. I don't feel like I'm missing much anything of note; I get my news feeds online so I’m not totally in the dark of current events – just not overexposed and thoroughly depressed like most folks. I can still catch an episode of Kate plus 8, The Dog Whisperer, National Geographic, and whatever strikes my fancy. I’ve got Scrubs and Heros on queue with Netflix, and I own every season of Sex & the City. I even pop in old seasons of the Dave Chappelle show and still laugh till I cry. No commercials, too!  I’m glad I don’t have to subject myself to the abundance of crap reality shows.

 

All of the reality “stars” are either a neurotic, drama queen, have anger issues, a slut, an alcoholic, a druggie, or all of the above. Just writing about them has dropped my IQ 2 points. Definitely not the kind of lifestyle you should aim to expose yourself to or emulate. If you must watch this crap, remember…everything you witness is how NOT to do things.

 

The Hills. I am quite possibly the only woman in their demographic viewership that is not a fan. I’ve barely seen a whole 5 minutes of one episode that my brother, his GF, my SO, and his brother, were all watching attentively. This show is one of those hybrid shows – a faux-ality show if you will. So wait, I’m confused – does everyone like the “real” them or the rehearsed them. (I’m saying “them” because I can’t remember the names of the main characters). My co-workers keep trying to convince me with their “you should watch it!” promptings, but I just don’t feel compelled. My bros GF wants to go everywhere that “The Hills” go to on their show. Really? Now we’re letting actors make your decisions for you? What happened to deciding what you want, or what you like based on your own self-discovery? I’ll take Yelp for suggestions over two blondies on TV who probably were scripted to be at “X” place that the location scout for the show found for them. What is this power they have over people? I digress….

 

Radio:

 

Like many disgruntled Honda owners, my factory installed radio deck has successfully locked me out of my own radio usage. I called my dealer, service shop, and even googled for a solution. All I found were more stories of Honda owners being locked out of their own radio. It all started when I changed my car battery, which is well over 3 years. Although I had the radio code at one point, I lost it after a fire. That code is safer than the President surrounded by secret service agents-no one knows what the damn thing is!

 

Alas, I had to deal with hearing nothing but road noises until I got myself an ipod. That was better, but what about my passengers? It took me a little longer to adjust, but today, I am totally used to hearing silence coupled with the rumblings of my 11 year old car and the road. Now I never hear the newest top 10 songs when they get airplay, but the benefit is that I don't tire of the song as quickly because I don't hear the radio playing it for the zillionth time of the day, every day until they've beaten the novelty out of the song. I also don’t have to get the 1,000’s of advertising messages that most commuters do. No longer do I need to hear about buying a car at Universal City Nissan, breast augmentation for $3,999, or who to call for bail bonds on Power 106. I can just listen to music that I’ve selected to listen to with a single click of my ipod. When I need a spiritual boost, I switch to my Joel Osteen free podcasts and by the time I walk in the office, I’m a positive woman, ready to conquer the world. At night on my drive through the canyons after the gym, I drive with my moon roof and windows wide open and hear the natural soundtrack of crickets, birds, and other critters. It’s a great way to wind down after a hard work out.

 

Gossip Rags:

 

Combine the absence of gossip mags with my lack of tv or radio usage and what you have is a woman who is totally out of the loop of the latest celebrity gossip. Like junk food, I indulge when they’re available, like at the salon or dentists office. But I’ve never bought one in my life. Whenever I flip through one, I’m amazed at the latest and greatest juicy celebrity gossip that has passed me by. Wha? Mariah Carey is marrying that dude from that one dance off show on MTV whose name escapes me? Huh? Jessica Alba already had her baby and is back in shape after an intensive “baby fat blast workout.” OMG, Beyonce is Mrs. Jay Hova? Ha ha ha ha! I’m sure this is all old old news by now. I can’t help but laugh at how out of touch I am on the day to day dramas and lives of the celebrity elite. I crack up at the page that demonstrates how celebs are “real people too!” who do their own shopping and have an off day where they look like shit (GASP!) – it’s so ludicrous you just gotta love how the general population swallows it whole. Especially when people start sharing the gossip as though they’re actual friends of these stars. What’s really depressing is that celeb gossip news shows like E! are devoted to delivering this “news” to you in live format. Just in case you can’t read, you can get the scoop on tv! My mom is a gossip slut – she is all about the gossip – celeb gossip, family gossip, neighbor gossip, random person gossip. It’s depressing. No doubt it’s fun in moderation, but the level of obsessive ness makes me glad that I don’t get fat off this junk food. I’ll stick to my subscriptions to Women’s Health and Cosmo. Although, Cosmo’s starting to get a little on the lame-o side with the same non-exciting sex positions that entice me to read it in the first place. I guess for the most part I like it for the latest fashion & beauty trends; very little relevant editorial when compared to WH.

 

*WHEEW* That was a long winded explanation! With all that said, I’d like to challenge you to do without TV, radio, gossip rags, and any other media that you abuse for at least a month, and see what happens! Statistics show that it takes 30 days to form a pattern and 90 days to form a habit. Perhaps this rings true in breaking them.

 

Whether you do it by choice or by circumstance, I think you’ll be amazed at the results. It’s surprising how much life you gain when you learn what you can live without.

 

 

 

 

Thursday, September 18, 2008

42" of fun

I recently discovered that Walgreen's carries some of the most random yet fun products outisde of the typical drug store finds of meds, daily needs, greeting cards, etc.

I walked in for Insolia shoe inserts and walked out with a 42" baby blue dog toy, complete with two separate types of squeakers on both ends. At $10, how could I resist?

This behemoth of a toy would quadruple his usual excitement for something new. And two squeakers that squak different tunes? Genius! The thing is 3 times longer than him, but he still drags, fetches, and carries it like a big dog.

Just watching him entertain himself for hours made it fun for me, too!

Hands down it's the best money I spent all week!
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Sunday, September 14, 2008

My SOS? AAA!


For eleven years and 162,000+ miles, not once have I ever ran out of gas to the point of no return. That is, until last night...

Thankfully, my experience was not as terrible as stressful as it could have been. I was at home and my car was in the driveway. I went in my car to make it to my power yoga class, tried to fire up the ignition, and my geriatric automobile sounded like a horse with no power. WTF? This NEVER happens to me! I've driven my car with the empty light on to work, to the gym, back home, and to the office the next day. In this instance, my gas empty warning light didn't even turn on. I guess the problem was that I was on empty and I went out of town for a real estate convention for 3 days. I took the train, so my car wasn't being driven for all that time. I guess what little fumes I had left eventually evaporated. I guess it happens to the best of us. I'm just pretty impressed that this is the first time it's ever happened to me.

Luckily my S.O. was off and offered to give me a lift to the gym. Late that day, he bought a 1-gallon plastic gas can, drizzled it in my Sahara-like gas tank, turned the key, and my engine just coughed like a smoker with bronchitis.

The next day, I pondered how the hell I was going to get more gas to give it a go one more time. Like a revelation, I remembered that I am an AAA Premiere member. At one time or another, I remembered reading somewhere about roadside assistance which included gas delivery.

I called the 800 # on my AAA card, confirmed they do this, and the nice customer service guy on the other line said "Yes, we deliver up to 2 gallons of gas free of charge as part of your Premiere Membership!" I explained that my car was on my driveway and that it wouldn't start as a result of my gas neglect. They happily informed me that someone would be there in 30 minutes or less, and I jumped for joy. Woohoo, AAA to the rescue!

The truck pulled up and I got an automated call from AAA updating me that the truck would be here shortly. Now that's what I call efficiency! My hero for the day poured the gas, asked me to crank the engine, at which point I just turned the key without knowing that I was supposed to pump on the gas. He offered to give it a go and after much effort and a big plume of smoke from my exhaust pipe, my car finally went purrrr. Its thirst was finally quenched.

Ahh...what a relief! Now that my car is getting farther and farther up there in age, I won't wait until I see the "get gas now" light staring at me in the face.

BUT..if I ever do, I get solace in knowing that my hero, AAA can always come to my rescue!

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Seat with a view

In my effort to "go green" and save some green, I am on the train en route from Burbank to San Diego for the ICSC conference. Not only am I saving the gas and crazy hotel parking expense, there is one less car in the road. Let's not forget the intangible savings of hassle, time stuck in traffic, and the ability to read and catch up on things as a passenger, not a driver. The cars are totally comfy: Nice sized seats, climate controlled, restroom on board, and a cafe. Can't say you have these amenities when driving solo!

I looked up and noticed there is a great view as we pass through San Juan Capistrano. The train tracks run parallel to the beach, providing me with a front seat view of the water and lucky folks who are out there enjoying it.

Sure beats the view of the freeway and cars! Now if only there was a train to the office...
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Thursday, September 4, 2008

Maui Mia

I spent 5 gloriously theraputic days on Ka'anapali Beach in Maui. Breathtaking scenery, crystal clear turquoise waters, beautiful people full of aloha. Ahh, how I miss it already.

It's only day 2 of being back on the mainland and I've already drifted swiftly down from my natural paradise high, crash landing back to my reality.

There are so many things to love about Maui. Let me count the ways:

1-Aloha in community: Locals are laid back and friendly, and it's contagious to both transplants and tourists alike. Everyone is calm, happy, and smiling, which in turn makes you calm, happy, and smiling right back.

2-Theraputic surroundings: Lush tropical greenery, flowers, trees, and undeveloped vistas and mountainsides can be seen from every angle. The beach is clean, water is warm and crystal clear, and it goes on for miles. Your problems and worries literally melt away with each hour you spend sitting on the beach. All body types are bikini clad with no judgments. Everyone's just hanging loose..

3-Driving; There are limited roads on Maui, and the speed limits are pretty slow. People drive relaxed, at a slow and steady pace. No road rage, no being stuck in a sea of traffic, no billboards. Just you, the road, the ocean to one side and the beautiful countryside on the other.

4-In Maui, you escape the exploitation, abrasiveness, and lewdness typically found in L.A. They haven't ruined the beauty of their land or people by using sex to sell it. Maui is a class act and is perfect just the way it is, so why ruin it? Here, you don't see sexed up billboards beckoning you to buy this or that, the women are admired as beauties and not pieces of meat to conquer, and you can walk around in your bikini top without feeling like everyone's gawking at you. When you look around, the typical L.A. Blond Hauoli with a fake bake and plastic surgery/botoxed/collagen monsters are virtually nil.

5-Native men: In ancient Hawaii, the men did all the hard work and labor, all the way down to the cooking. Women were respected and admired for their ability to bring life to the world, so the men did the hard work and cherished their queens. I am sure that many young generations of these native men have instilled these same values in them, thus making the island a better place to find a quality man. Let's not forget the great bronzed physique attributed to island lifestyles and activities. Mahalo to that!

6-Health: Maui is undoubtedly a place that encourages healthy lifestyles. You can't help but want to be outside doing some sort of activity: surf, swim, run, hike, hula, you name it. There are very few fast food joints, so you eat actual food, and the occasional spam dish, which is fine because you eat so well the majority of the time. During my last visit I learned Maui is smoke free-no smoking anywhere except sidewalks and beaches. And lastly, renewable energy at a rate of 70% is a goal the county hopes to achieve within 7 years, of course not at the expense of the preservation of the land or its animal inhabitants.

7-Limited development: Thankfully corporate big wigs can't touch the island and thus ruin it like most other tourist/resort places. It hasn't been bastardized into L.A.'s island stepchild with big trendy hotels with red velvet rope clubs and women in slut couture from head to stiletto toe. Giant billboards and neon lights and cookie cutter shopping centers haven't landed here, and with the exception of a small corridor close to the airport in Kahului, I'm pretty sure they never will. The hipster "see and be seen" celebrity obsessed, competitive, wannabe model/actress/rapper/fill-in-the-blank scene is not coveted there. Neither are flashy cars, ridiculously giant residences, and other wasteful acts of materialism. The island is a breath of fresh air, it's actually too good to be considered a state in the U.S. because of its vast differences.

8-The music: I listened to the local radio station in Honolulu-100.3, and all of the songs were chill, relaxing, and they articulated words with meaning. The artists on the islands are the modern day oldies groups in that they still sing about love. None of the bullshit about hoes, cash, and automobiles like most of the top 40 on the mainland. No designer name dropping and talking about kissing girls and tasting their cherry chapstick. No, just good ol' fashioned love.

9-Minority rules: This is one of the few places that appeals to the masses from all backgrounds and demographic profiles across the board. But, it's also one of few places where being a native, or coming a close second based on your ethnicity where the roles are reversed and the natives rule the roost (in an unassuming and humble way, of course). Being told you look like a native of Maui is one of the biggest compliments you can get, and it makes me smile every time.

10-Waterside eating: I love to eat al fresco, overlooking the beach, especially in the morning for breakfast. It's great that all kinds of restaurants from super casual to ultra upscale are equal in their ability to offer you beachside seating when you dine. Where else can you eat a big delicious burger while you gaze out at their million dollar view? The restaurant at our hotel worked symbiotically with the birds; rather than implement ways to keep them out, they treat them like friends, not pests. They allow them to fly about and even eat leftovers after diners leave-they're kind of like little helpers. Then, once the crew comes to clean up and new guests are seated, they don't bother them and they just perch and wait patiently.

These are just 10 of the many ways I love the lovely island. It's truly a love affair with staying power..


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